"The
dreaded Ninth Circle of Hades is a frigid wasteland ringed by classical
and Biblical giants standing on a ledge above the Great Frozen Lake
known as Cocytus and are visible from the waist up at the Malebolge.
In the center of the Ninth Circle is Cocytus and it is the destiny
of the most cursed of souls, the worst of the worst – Cain,
Judas Escariot, Brutus, Cassius, Antenor who betrayed Troy to the
Greeks, several New Jersey Mafiosi, General Tojo, John Wilkes Booth,
two New York Mayors, one from Chicago and, of course, the recently
arrived sorceress Jocelyn Von Hagen, the Black Widow of Dresden.
The demon giant Antaeus looms over all. He
is assigned the ageless, boring duty of watching over this motley
crew. Boring, that is, until Jocelyn arrived and things on the miles-deep
Arctic Hell started to heat up.
“I can’t believe that in 900 years you learned so little,”
Antaeus lamented.
“I heard news of your exploits and those of your son Maximillian,
the bastard of the Dark Master, and I thought you had a chance of
succeeding in the quest to overthrow that overbearing Lord of the
Underworld, that smug archangel who thought he had it made when
he got the nod to rule Hades autonomously. You were the New Hope.”
“That’s what I like, employee loyalty,” Jocelyn
shot back so everyone in the cavernous chamber could hear. “I
take it you are dissatisfied with your lot in this Hellish operation?”
“When Hades was created and Satan began to rule, I was the
number two man with a desk job, snacks, a month off a year. Then,
the evilest souls were sent down to this barren wasteland, the Ninth
Circle, and I was assigned to guard them because I was ‘the
best of the best’, Satan said, and Beelzebub got my desk in
that nice warm office. I’d do almost anything to get a Mr.
Coffee machine down here, that and real cable TV not that satellite
crap. Then, your buddy Druscilla Marie d’Lambert, the Destroying
Angel and Queen of Witches came along and I dropped in status to
number four.”
“Just what is the story of that bitch?” Jocelyn queried
her monstrous guardian.
“When humanity was created, Samael, as the Dark One was known
in his archangel days, disagreed with The Creator about the destiny
of the new creatures, the humans. The Creator thought it would be
interesting to make many varieties of mankind and watch them interact
to ultimately create a peaceful Utopian society. Samael suggested
a more time-tested society based on insects…one kind, one
color, one ruler and so forth. He foresaw the turmoil that would
be caused by the many physical and ideological differences. When
things got out of hand and it seemed that The Creator might be proven
wrong, He declared that a Destroying Angel would come, sooner or
later, to aid Satan in handling the chaos of humanity and avoid
an Apocalypse. That’s when he ordered the Divinium Pentagram
Ring to be created and that Satan would keep it on his person until
this ‘special angel’ came to claim it. The Pentagram
Ring was a weapon that could be used only by the Destroyer to give
her the edge.”
“Yeah, I found that out the hard way in a Mexican restaurant
bathroom,” Jocelyn grumped.
“You want sympathy?” the demon asked. “I don’t
give sympathy. I know your story, poor little abused girl indentured
for life into the kitchens and outhouses of the rich, engaged by
the old hag Marlena to marry and murder the aristocracy for profit
and then when it all went to crap, you were rescued from the Scottish
posse by the Dark One.”
“I still can’t figure why,” Jocelyn moaned.
“To save your soul, woman,” Antaeus explained. “He
saw you as a victim of circumstances and though he could rehabilitate
you so you’d get Purgatory or Limbo rather than this frosty
doom. But, all you saw was power and that damn ring.”
Yes, the ring. What is the deal with Divinium, I was at a distinct
disadvantage when Druscilla explained it before she turned me into
a spider and that little wretch daughter of Nick’s flushed
me down a toilet.”
“Yeah, Nick…er..Satan has a daughter,” Antaeus
said before breaking out in bellowing laughter. “I’m
sorry, but you have to know how awkward the old guy is with women.
Having a teenage daughter is some sort of justice for that asshole.”
“She’s not funny. She breathed fire on me and pulled
that toilet chain! Now what’s the deal with Divinium?”
“Divinium is the most powerful and rarest element in the Universe,”
Antaeus continued, “It allows the wearer to channel the great
electro-magnetic power of the Earth’s core.”
“And to think I wasted 900 years trying to get a ring that
only works for Druscilla.”
“Wasted because you don’t know how to reformat the ring,”
Antaeus added.
“Reformat?”
“Yes, if you take it to the artisan who made it, he can smelt
it, cleanse it of its’ spell and re-furbish it with a new
enchantment for you only. The Creator originally sent the ounce
Divinium to Albereich the dwarf king of Neibelheim,
a volcanous realm on the other side of the south wall of this very
cavern. Albereich learned the art of smithing enchanted rings and
magic talismans from that single experience and later had a disastrous
adventure all of his own when he tried it for self-gain.”
“Yes, I know…the Reingold Ring from those Wagner operas,”
Jocelyn replied as her interest perked up. “So, that’s
where the Pentagram Ring came from.”
“The Creator’s thought was that the Destroying Angel,
this Druscilla person, and the ring would give Satan an advantage
to control the evil ones, pull his ass out of the socio-political
fire and he could avoid the predicted Apocalypse, for if that event
ever occurred, Satan would be proven right about humanity and it
would be very embarrassing for…..”
“Yes…that’s it!” Jocelyn screamed, “I’ll
bring about the Apocalypse and then wrench the throne of Hell from
that bastard!” Jocelyn stood erect, did a hair flip and addressed
the other Ninth Circle inmates. “Are you guys in?”
“I like the way you think, your enthusiasm and persistence
in the face of this frozen challenge,” the Antaeus said. “We
can help each other to this end. I want that throne, too, but you
can rule the upper Earth as Empress or whatever,” and he held
out his hand and asked, “Deal or no deal?”
Jocelyn gripped the huge, deformed hand firmly and announced, “DEAL!”
“I still have operatives ‘upstairs’,” Jocelyn
continued, “There’s my son and his UMBRA allies, and
my major domo, my mentor, Count Yvgeny Viperoffsky…..”
“Viperoffsky!!” exclaimed the monstrous demon, laughing
out loud again, “Lady, you still have a lot to learn. Here’s
the scoop on your Russian warlock buddy…..”
Jocelyn listened to what Anteaus had to disclose about the thousand
year-old Russian sorcerer with the little black snake familiar,
Sasha, and it made her eyes open wide and her own skin pucker with
goosebumps and crawl.
But, more about that later.
Many miles above them, treachery was afoot for intrepid MI-6 agent
Druscilla Marie d’Lambert.
Next Month: Chapter
One- The Red Dragon.

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